I drink so much Mt Dew my iPhone auto corrects my smiley faces to a toothless grin.
He quickly switches his phone to silent. “I wouldn’t want anyone in this bathroom to hear my notifications” he thinks as he farts non-stop.
"Dad, can we go to the Zoo tomorrow?"
"BECAUSE iOS 8 COMES OUT TOMORROW YOU LITTLE SHIT!"
Make more goofy faces
NASA Announcement Prediction: “We are happy to announce we will begin launching space flights…right up your butts America!” [Drops mic]