improvisingfatherhood:

thedaddycomplex:

Time for another guest post. This one comes from Tumblr’s own improvisingfatherhood.
Improvising Fatherhood’s Patented Parenting Techniques!By Nate Smith
(*All patents are pending)
Wow, I have been a father for almost five years now. That’s half a decade, or as I like to call it, one fifth of a quarter of a century! During my time as a dad, I have developed a few unique techniques to dealing with children.
Today I am going to share with you some of my best parenting tips and tricks.
Can’t get your kids to eat their food? Wait until they are asleep and then feed it to them intravenously.
Kids shouldn’t spend too much time watching TV. Mix it up by letting them watch their favorite shows on an iPad, iPhone, or other mobile devices.
Be an actual helicopter parent. Your kids would love it if you flew them around everywhere in a real helicopter. 
Keep your kids from getting spoiled by making them sleep in a Ziploc bag in the refrigerator. 
Don’t feed your kids junk food. Give them name-brand candy only.
Even though you know you’ve made a lot of mistakes in your life and are somewhat unhappy with how your life has turned out, make sure to force your kids to live their lives exactly like you.
When your kids are asleep whisper positive affirmations to them like, “It’s amazing I’ve managed to keep you alive this long.”
Remember, kids can smell fear…and farts…and they will call you out on that.
Make sure to back up all your pictures of your kids. That’s going to be valuable blackmail material some day.
Don’t let your kids use the word headcanon. Just don’t.
(photo by Lis Purdy)

Thanks to David for letting me play in his sandbox for a day.

improvisingfatherhood:

thedaddycomplex:

Time for another guest post. This one comes from Tumblr’s own improvisingfatherhood.

Improvising Fatherhood’s Patented Parenting Techniques!
By Nate Smith

(*All patents are pending)

Wow, I have been a father for almost five years now. That’s half a decade, or as I like to call it, one fifth of a quarter of a century! During my time as a dad, I have developed a few unique techniques to dealing with children.

Today I am going to share with you some of my best parenting tips and tricks.

  1. Can’t get your kids to eat their food? Wait until they are asleep and then feed it to them intravenously.
  2. Kids shouldn’t spend too much time watching TV. Mix it up by letting them watch their favorite shows on an iPad, iPhone, or other mobile devices.
  3. Be an actual helicopter parent. Your kids would love it if you flew them around everywhere in a real helicopter. 
  4. Keep your kids from getting spoiled by making them sleep in a Ziploc bag in the refrigerator. 
  5. Don’t feed your kids junk food. Give them name-brand candy only.
  6. Even though you know you’ve made a lot of mistakes in your life and are somewhat unhappy with how your life has turned out, make sure to force your kids to live their lives exactly like you.
  7. When your kids are asleep whisper positive affirmations to them like, “It’s amazing I’ve managed to keep you alive this long.”
  8. Remember, kids can smell fear…and farts…and they will call you out on that.
  9. Make sure to back up all your pictures of your kids. That’s going to be valuable blackmail material some day.
  10. Don’t let your kids use the word headcanon. Just don’t.

(photo by Lis Purdy)

Thanks to David for letting me play in his sandbox for a day.

theatlantic:

This Is Big: Scientists Just Found Earth’s First-Cousin

Right now, 500 light years away from Earth, there’s a planet that looks a lot like our own. It is bathed in dim orangeish light, which at high noon is only as bright as the golden hour before sunset back home. 
NASA scientists are calling the planet Kepler-186f, and it’s unlike anything they’ve found. The big news: Kepler-186f is the closest relative to the Earth that researchers have discovered. 
It’s the first Earth-sized planet in the habitable zone of another star—the sweet spot between too-hot Mercury-like planets and too-cold Neptunes— and it is likely to give scientists their first real opportunity to seek life elsewhere in the universe. “It’s no longer in the realm of science fiction,” said Elisa Quintana, a researcher at the SETI Institute. 
But if there is indeed life on Kepler-186f, it may not look like what we have here. Given the redder wavelengths of light on the planet, vegetation there would sprout in hues of yellow and orange instead of green.
Read more. [Image: NASA Ames/SETI Institute/JPL-Caltech]

theatlantic:

This Is Big: Scientists Just Found Earth’s First-Cousin

Right now, 500 light years away from Earth, there’s a planet that looks a lot like our own. It is bathed in dim orangeish light, which at high noon is only as bright as the golden hour before sunset back home. 

NASA scientists are calling the planet Kepler-186f, and it’s unlike anything they’ve found. The big news: Kepler-186f is the closest relative to the Earth that researchers have discovered. 

It’s the first Earth-sized planet in the habitable zone of another star—the sweet spot between too-hot Mercury-like planets and too-cold Neptunes— and it is likely to give scientists their first real opportunity to seek life elsewhere in the universe. “It’s no longer in the realm of science fiction,” said Elisa Quintana, a researcher at the SETI Institute. 

But if there is indeed life on Kepler-186f, it may not look like what we have here. Given the redder wavelengths of light on the planet, vegetation there would sprout in hues of yellow and orange instead of green.

Read more. [Image: NASA Ames/SETI Institute/JPL-Caltech]

whosthewhatnow:

HAPPY WEEKEND! FRIDAY FOLLOWER SHOUT OUT:

vanguard1219

erraticartist

lizlemon-hullabaloo

(via thechurchofbobsaget)

splitsider:

Bearing Down on Community’s Triumphant, Challenging Fifth Season

Live Show Today - Free Q&A on the topic of Careers - what questions do you have?

michelleakin:

My friend and fellow coach Lacey Hopkins will be joining me today to host a Q&A on careers! Ask us anything you want/need to know about finding the job you love, leaving the job you hate, or how to pave your own path.

The Q&A will be today April 18th at 5:30pm on Vokle

This is a precursor to a full workshop we will be holding on May 16th (details here)

If you can’t make it to the live show, there will be a recording. So please submit your questions to us via Twitter (@MichelleAkin and @LaceyHopkins) or tumblr ( michelleakinlaceyhopkinscoaching) using the hashtag #sparkyourcareer

Or you can simply reply to this post!

Hope to see you there :)

PS- I’m sick and have almost completely lost my voice, so Lacey will be interpreting on my behalf!

livelovehep:

sunalwaysshining:

meladoodle:

what if guys came coffee… i’ll have one ejaculatte please

I just spit out my coffee

You’re supposed to swallow it

(via thechurchofbobsaget)

I love listening to this man talk. Watch this brief video in which Tyson answers the stupid question, “are there genetic differences between men and women, which leads to more men becoming scientists?” through the lens of his personal experience as a black person who chose to pursue science.

(Source: machmigo, via sinesean)

This is why I fucks with you Yvette. (x)

For extra win, here’s her response to random disgruntled white woman #52:

 “It’s 2014, not 1960 get over it already.”  -#52

“What horrible price are white people currently paying Melissa Hammersley? Are their wages or chance of career advancement affected? Do their children lack opportunities? Is it impossible for them to get a fair trial or equal jail time for the same crime? What has been SO hard for white people since Slavery times that black folks should allow them the right to use the N-word freely? I’m baffled. 

I’m sorry you, in particular, are struggling so hard with the idea that its use is NEVER acceptable by caucasians in particular but I have now completely tired of your contributions on this topic on MY page. Feel free to continue raging against the unjust treatment of blacks towards whites and the “get over it-ness” of it all on YOUR page. God bless.”  - Yvette

(Source: wifigirl2080, via katdebvan)

"I hated school. I don’t trust anybody who looks back on the years from 14 to 18 with any enjoyment. If you liked being a teenager, there’s something really wrong with you."

— Stephen King (via gamefacesmart)

Guess there’s something wrong with me.

(via semicolson)

(Source: linxspiration, via katdebvan)

stand-up-comic-gifs:

I look around, there’s baby pictures of me everywhere. - Sheng Wang (x)

(via craftyjessy)

funnyordie:

The Live Read of Space Jam with Blake Griffin

Watch Blake Griffin, DeAndre Jordan, Seth Green, Paul Scheer, Nick Kroll, and more reanimate the 1996 sports classic Space Jam in this all-star live read at L.A.’s UCB Theatre.

(via comedynerdsunited)