I assume this is from Charlie Sheen.
Anonymous asked:
A joke about whores
You can submit your own joke request at www.natesmithcomedy.com/ask. All joke requests will be fulfilled on the following Wequest Wednesday.
UPDATE: Definition of a whore, as found on Dictionary.com
–noun
1.a woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse,usually for money; prostitute; harlot; strumpet.

I assume this is from Charlie Sheen.

Anonymous asked:

A joke about whores

You can submit your own joke request at www.natesmithcomedy.com/ask. All joke requests will be fulfilled on the following Wequest Wednesday.

UPDATE: Definition of a whore, as found on Dictionary.com

–noun

1.a woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse,usually for moneyprostitute; harlot; strumpet.

Punt that baby! 
Anonymous asked:

Can you make up a joke about plastic baby dolls?

You can submit your own joke request at www.natesmithcomedy.com/ask. All joke requests will be fulfilled on the following Wequest Wednesday.

Punt that baby! 

Anonymous asked:

Can you make up a joke about plastic baby dolls?

You can submit your own joke request at www.natesmithcomedy.com/ask. All joke requests will be fulfilled on the following Wequest Wednesday.

I just saw the movie “Glitter.” Just like its title would suggest, it made my eyes sting and my friends now think I’m gay.

On today’s episode of NateSmithComedy

Alright, so some days I might have a theme and some days I might not? Who knows? An even better question, who cares? NOBODY. But I’m slowly slipping into a delusional state, so I’m going to continue talking about it. 

So I think Wednesdays are going to continue being Wequest Wednesdays. It’s a good day to round up all the joke requests and any other comments or questions you’ve submitted throughout the week. 

I’d like to start by addressing a small issue. One of you is crazy. See this…

 barefootbeauty reblogged your photo: The REAL Google Trends

this man makes me laugh constantly :D

Did you see that? She called me a man! A man? Don’t let the photoshopped mustache fool you. And just ignore the wife, the kid, the house, and the job…and the scrotum. (too far?) I’m a guy..at best. But calling me a man is a bit of a stretch. If you ever want proof of that, watch an episode of Scrubs with me and wait for the moment when I laugh like a little girl (happens at least once an episode…sigh…I miss that show).

To further evidence how crazy this person is, she also said:

barefootbeauty asked:this isn’t a joke request, merely a comment on how hilarious you are. thanks for making my dashboard awesome :))

Coo coo!

Sadly, I only got one joke request this week. Happily, it was an AWESOME joke request. It made me laugh almost more than the joke I created for it. ALMOST.

Anonymous asked:

Glitter, that does not involve vampires—-I’m sick of vampires. They are stupid.

They ARE stupid! I don’t care what any of you say. I will do my best to make a joke about glitter that doesn’t involve vampires. TO THE JOKE MACHINE!

"The thing about Homophobes is, they’re more afraid of us than we are of them. I mean…I’m totally not gay…but, it’s cool if you are."

Anonymous requested a joke about:

Something making fun of homophobes please!


You can submit your own joke request at www.natesmithcomedy.com/ask. All joke requests will be fulfilled on the following Wequest Wednesday.

The Joys of Hunting

Anonymous asked:

I like to hunt but my mom told me never to play with guns…what other ways could I enjoy hunting

That’s a great question, and you’ve certainly come to the right place. Let me tell you, I know A LOT about unconventional hunting. You see, any yahoo with an index finger can shoot a deer. But I’m into something a little more extreme. Everyone knows that there are separate seasons for hunting with your rifle and with your bow. And of course there is duck season and then there is wabbit season. But not everyone is aware of another hunting season.

Nunchuck season. That’s right. Hunting deer with nunchucks. You see, I bet it is just SO gratifying for you to sit up in your little tree house and wait for a deer to come traipsing through your woods, and then you tweet “OMG, Doe! A Deer! A female Deer! Faa…a long long way to run…” from your iPhone right before you pump the deer full of lead.

But it takes a real hunter to be able to sneak up on a deer without being heard, and then BLAMMO! Knock the buck out of him with your nunchucks. That’s how I do it.

I’m also a big fan of hunting bears with proximity mines.

Most kids got their mouths washed out with soap when they cussed, but my mom was real outdoorsy so she washed my mouth out with Pine-Sol.

jonderp asked:

I want a joke about pine-sol.
You can submit your own joke request at www.natesmithcomedy.com/ask. All joke requests will be fulfilled on the following Wequest Wednesday.

Phase 10: It’s Uno plus nueve!

Anonymous requested a joke:

About the game phase 10.

You can submit your own joke request at www.natesmithcomedy.com/ask. All joke requests will be fulfilled on the following Wequest Wednesday.

"The problem with eating babies is, one is not enough to fill you up, but one is all it takes to get you put away for life."

Anonymous requested a joke about:

Eating babies?

Hahah…I love how this person wasn’t quite sure about this request. You can submit your own joke request at www.natesmithcomedy.com/ask. But when you submit it, be confident about it! All joke requests will be fulfilled the following Wednesday.

"I don’t really understand why guys like Anime. I mean, if you had the choice between the Spongebob Squarepants cartoon, or a real life version of Spongebob Squarepants, wouldn’t you want the real thing?"

Anonymous requested a joke:

can you make a joke about anime? thanks! xD

You can submit your own joke request at www.natesmithcomedy.com/ask. All joke requests will be fulfilled on the following Wequest Wednesday.

Wequest Wednesday

Today is the first official Wequest Wednesday here at NateSmithComedy, where I will fulfill as many of your joke requests from the previous week as I can. I will also take Wednesdays to respond to any miscellaneous messages I might have received. 

 First up…

 heysophs asked:

I really like your site, it always cracks me up. I’ve been meaning to submit a request, but can’t seem to think of anything worth asking you to make a joke about. Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that for every 6 members reading your Tumblr, I’m sure there’s 6 more quietly following behind. Thanks for the entertainment :)

Thanks! It’s nice to know I have 12 followers. Actually, something weird has been happening lately. I’ve been losing followers at an alarming rate. I’m not sure why. But the good news is that the rest of you are a part of a elite club that is becoming more and more elite every day!

Then…

 handsthathelpheal replied to your post: Trying something new

Have I told you lately, that you’re awesome?! This is quite the schedule, can you keep it up? Don’t you have a job? I dunno how you do it…

Actually…you have. My wife is getting jealous. She wants to make sure you keep your healing hands to yourself. As far as the schedule goes, it’s not actually going to be any more intensive than what I normally do. It will just be more organized. And I do have a job…and a 16 month old kid. But nothing, not even my own baby boy, will keep me from my true passion…the internet.

And finally…

drowninganimals answered your question: Trying something new

Monologues huh? I once saw a stage monologue where a man buttered his penis. Don’t be that guy.

Ah man! I can’t be that guy? I wasn’t going to butter my penis, but I had considered schalacking my balls. Gross. Why did I say that? 

Actually, now I’m curious about that monologue. What could he have been saying while buttering his penis? And was it actually butter? Or was it margarin? Did his penis suddenly pop up and say, “I can’t believe it’s not butter?” Wait, was it Fabio?

Weird…Okay, now on with the jokes you requested.