Anonymous said: youre amazing!! please have a nice day!!


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Anonymous said: nope sorry cant do that socially awkward/anxiety sorry, it doesnt really matter though I guess, but he is really cute!!

I have a parenting blog. You can probably find his name on there.

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Anonymous said: your son is super cute Nate, What's his name? I can never remember, sorry

Ask me off anon and I’ll tell you.  

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Anonymous said: In response to the hell question.. Then why do you care if someone thinks you'll end up in a place you don't believe in?

I’m going to respond to this as fully as I can, and then take a break from this topic so that my blog doesn’t become bogged down with religious debate. If anyone wants to continue discussing this privately feel free to send me a non-anon message and we can have a civil discourse on the topic.

For context, this discussion started with this reblog and then my response to this question.

Ultimately, I don’t care if someone thinks I’m going to Hell. But the first anon claimed I was “degrading” and “shaming” them for believing in God. If calling God your imaginary friend is “degrading”, “shaming”, and mean, then you’ve got a big wake up call coming because the world is only going to get a whole lot meaner.

But my point was that most Christians (yes I know, #notallchristians) believe that if you don’t believe what they believe, you are a sinner and you are going to Hell. Regardless of whether I care about that, you have to admit that is a degrading point of view that intends to shame the “sinner” into changing their beliefs. 

The thing is, I don’t care if you believe in God. We’re all entitled to our own beliefs. But the difference is, my belief doesn’t hold any consequences for those who disagree with me. A lot of Christian beliefs maintain that if you don’t agree with them, you are a sinner who is less-than and you are doomed to eternity in Hell. And again, if you hold that belief quietly to yourself, then I won’t fuss about it. It’s when people start over stepping their boundaries and telling others (ie. homosexuals) they are going to Hell for being who they are, that I get a little upset.

In summary:

If you believe in God, I don’t think of you as dumb or less-than in any way. I disagree with you, but respect you. We cool.

If you use your beliefs in God to justify bigotry or any kind of hatred, we got problems and I’m going to make fun of you, degrade you, and shame you until the day I die.

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thegoldfishnamedcolin said: Do you watch Big Brother?

I sure do. Derrick is putting on an absolute clinic this season. 

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Anonymous said: Do people really have to follow you? I thought your blog was part of the tumblr welcome package when you sign up...

I like the thought of being part of the Tumblr Welcome Package.

I think because I am listed on the Tumblr Spotlight for Funny blogs I am also in the rotation of blogs that Tumblr automatically recommends when you create a new Tumblr account. I don’t think every new Tumblr user is made to follow me automatically, but a lot of them are. 

However you found me, thanks for sticking around.

Tags: ask Tumblr

Anonymous said: My deal: I like improv and other comedy and so like that made sense. Emprov is dope.

E-MPROV is dope! Thank you. You get a gold star for the day.

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myfacewaschizzledbythegods said: Hello, you're not a cool mom


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tyberiusrescued said: why I followed: I joined tumblr. tumblr told me you were funny. holds up so far. don't drop the ball.

Thanks tyberiusrescued. Hopefully you’ll never be


Anonymous said: "a functional operating system" The hell are you on about?

Oh nothing. Just that the Nexus is a piece of dog doo doo with a big screen.

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Anonymous said: Have you ever seen or heard of the Home Improvement Super Nintendo game? You play as Tim and fight dinosaurs with power tools.

nnnnnope! But I want to see it!

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Anonymous said: I'm pretty sure I saw that same number routine on an old Ma and Pa Kettle movie. (I'm on anon because I don't want people to know I watch Ma and Pa Kettle movies.) So maybe that's a classic Vaudeville routine.

It looks like it IS an old Vaudeville routine dating back to at least 1921 with Flournoy Miller and Aubrey Lyles.

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thefrogman said: I don't think it can be broken down into a specific formula or pattern. The intent of Dad Jokes is to embarrass kids. To make them moan and roll their eyes. The more they do, the more the dad enjoys and laughs at his clever little joke. As a supreme court justice once said about trying to determine if something is profane, "I know it when I see it." I think dad jokes are more like that.

OK thefrogman, then how do you break down the difference between a bad joke, a bad pun, and a dad joke? 

Also, I’ll tell you this. My kids have a different definition for Dad Jokes. In my house Dad Jokes are jokes that bring the fucking house down.

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Anonymous said: theyre called dad jokes because theyre cheesy jokes a dad would say to their child...

Dad jokes have a specific style and pattern. 

"I’m hungry."

"Nice to meet you, Hungry. I’m dad."

That’s a typical pattern for a Dad joke. 

"Can I go to the bathroom?"

"I don’t know, CAN you?" 

That’s another typical Dad joke. 

The joke, “How does NASA organize a party? They planet.” is a pun. Just a straight up pun. Good old fashioned pun. 

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Anonymous said: Your spray on moustache post was really upsetting to see. I didn't think I would see something like that on your page. I know as a comedian you like to make light of hard stuff but don't you think that was a little offensive??

That GIF was originally made back when that event first happened. The Internet had taken to ridiculing that officer in a variety of ways, and GIFs of him in different situations were flooding the Internet. Nobody at that time complained to me about that GIF being offensive. Maybe without the context of all the other posts making fun of that of that officer it might have a different feeling. But no, I don’t think it’s offensive.

I’m sorry it upset you. 

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