Anonymous asked: Robocop Fluffernutter. There you go. That's what your t-shirt should be.

Well technically that is the intellectual property of @thedaddycomplex . But let’s keep brainstorming.

Tags: ask

Anonymous asked: Do you have stuff to buy? I like what you do and would like to support it by buying a t-shirt or DVD, but I don't see a link to a store.

That’s pretty awesome. I have 2 kids you could buy…? 

Should I make t-shirts? Something else? How many of you would be interested in something like that?

Tags: ask

Anonymous asked: According to Chris Rock, the only way to be a real American is to either kill people on command or enter the country illegally. Is that what YOU believe? That voting, paying taxes, and working to make your local communties better just ain't worth shit?

It’s a joke that boils down a very complex concept to a simple point, which is that a lot of Americans think we are better than people from other countries solely because we were born in America. And that basic attitude is stupid.

But if you are someone who pays taxes and works to make your local community better, regardless of whether you’re doing that in America or any other country, good for you. Give yourself a pat on the back.

Tags: ask

shesmyonly asked: Hello my name is mmppph mmpph and I am a fellow user. The reason that I think you should promote me is because the following.... 1) I am the type of guy that likes h̦̼̩͍e̫̟̫ą̞̟̫̤͇̝d̺̖͕̠b̻̹̭̩ṷ̥̀t̥̟͇̮t̡͖͓i̪n҉̞̱g̥̠̰͡ ̹̕w̜̫a͓͚̥̞ḽ̵̯̻͍̱l̙̫͡s͈͎. 2)I have been on tumblr for you and only you. 3) the blog you run is T̙H̵̞̻̖̫Ę̙̼ ̜͟ÓN̙͙̞̮L̹̤̯̭̫̩͇Y͉͔̰̬ ͟ reason i conitnue nue. 4) IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII AAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM SCAAAAAAAAAAARED. Thank you for your life :)

Yeah…that’s a no.

Tags: ask

ill-makeyousmile asked: Hello my name is Cattlin Zwicker and I am a fellow tumblr user. The reason that I think you should promote me is because the following.... 1) I am the type of guy that likes to talk and get to know people. 2)I have been on tumblr for quite a while and need to follow and get followed by more people. 3) the blog you run is good and a blog I would be honoured to be promoted by. 4)I am a funny person as I would like to think and can bring joy to people. Thank you for your time :)

I appreciate your effort. But I have a few follow-up questions. This is not yet a promotion. 

How long is “quite a while”? 

What is something original you bring to Tumblr? 

Tags: ask

Anonymous asked: Why haven't you gone Pro yet?

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Anonymous asked: christians as a blanket term. love it

Would you care to elaborate? Are you saying you’d like to start using ‘christians’ as a term for blankets? Like, “At night I hate it when my wife hogs all the christians.’ Like that?

Tags: ask

Anonymous asked: How do you feel about peanut butter socials and kidney tennis?

I feel too lazy too Google them, that’s how I feel.

Tags: ask

kentballs asked: You know the reason Chip and Dale are wearing Magnum PI and Indy's outfits is because Tom Selleck almost played Indy, in fact he was in the final running along with Harrison, but didn't get the job because of his TV engagements with Magnum PI.

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Tags: ask

Anonymous asked: did you know from birth you only have about 30000 days to be alive? if you think you're old, 30-40 is not old. they are just 15000 day old babies.

Well…30,000 days would be 82 years, and I plan on living to 100, thank you very much. You said that 30-40 is not old, but 15,000 days would be 41. Your math is all over the place. Please resubmit your work.

Tags: ask

Anonymous asked: I don't mean to stir up 'controversy' on your blog as it is a touchy subject for most, but what do you think of muslims and Islam in general from what you know about them

I give them two thumbs up!

Tags: ask

Anonymous asked: Can you recommend some fun, non-violent computer games?

The Lego video games are all pretty fun. There’s no blood and gore, but your Lego body does get blasted into a bunch of little Lego pieces from time to time. 

Other than than, I don’t really get to play video games that much, and when I do I actually enjoy pretty violent games (I’m a major wimp in real life so I gotta pretend to be bad ass in video games). But maybe some of my followers can recommend some games. 

If you have a recommendation, please leave a response to this post (don’t fill my inbox with responses on this one)

Do any of you have a recommendation for fun non-violent games?

Tags: ask

Anonymous asked: I tried to find some videos of your stand up on YouTube, but all I could find was you water skiing?

I’ll post a video of me doing stand up from 2006. Please submit the link to the video of me skiing. I’m pretty sure it’s not me because I’ve been skiing like twice in my life, once on water and once on snow.

Tags: ask

Anonymous asked: Hi Nate, you're hilarious and you're a family favorite. :) If you wouldn't mind answering a question, what do you think about the staggering statistic of comedians who suffer from anxiety and depression? How about addiction? Thank you for answering.

Firstly, thanks!

I’ve written about this before, and I’m happy to do it again. 

I think if you look at any occupation you will find that a lot of people in that occupation suffer from anxiety and depression. I don’t think anxiety and depression are unique to comedians. It’s just that we care about and talk about entertainers a lot more than we talk about teachers, office workers, garbage men, etc. It’s a sexy story to talk about the conflicted comedian who is fighting his demons while struggling to make us laugh. It’s a lot less sexy to talk about the depressed factory workers of the world. But they’re out there too, and they deserve just as much support.

In regards to why comedians might be depressed or anxious, most anxiety and depression comes from unfulfilled wants and desires. Most comedians spend their entire career chasing after a dream that they will never achieve.

Personally, I still dream of being a full-time comedian, meaning I can pay all my bills from performing/writing comedy, and not have to work a day job. I may NEVER achieve that. If I focus on that, it can be pretty depressing. Instead I choose to focus doing what I can to make as many people laugh as I can every day, and if I spend the rest of my life doing that, even if I never become a full-time comedian, that will have been a pretty good life.

Now on to addiction and substance abuse. It’s true that there was a time when comedy club owners were actually paying comedians with drugs, but that era is over…mostly. 

Again, I don’t think this is unique to comedians and entertainers. I just think we focus on it because we spend so much more time scrutinizing the lives of entertainers than we do with Subway Sandwich Artists. I think if you look at any group of people with a given occupation, there’s a high percentage of drug addiction. Look at, for instance, Canadian mayors…

Thanks for your question. My ask hole is always open.

pikachubottom asked: i just realized something. ive been following you for like a year now i think maybe? i dont know its been a long time! but i dont even know who you are. never heard u make a joke. etc. like who are you? but somehow i like you because i saw your pics every now and then?? its so weirdddd ughhh im having hard time ur kids are cute

That’s a pretty good question. Who the heck am I?

I think a lot of my followers followed me automatically when they joined Tumblr. This is because I am listed on Tumblr’s Spotlight page for Funny blogs. So when you create a new Tumblr account, I am on a list of suggested blogs to follow. So that’s probably why you are following me.

But WHO is the Best Nate Smith Ever!? Here’s my official bio 

Since 1999 I have been performing improv, stand-up, and sketch comedy. In 2008 I helped open the Curious Comedy Theater, a non-profit comedy theater in Portland, OR.

In 2009 my first son was born and in my hiatus from live comedy I turned to the Internet, specifically Tumblr, to find an audience. Now in 2014 my personal Tumblr, Best Nate Smith Ever, has over 280,000 followers and is featured on Tumblr’s Spotlight for Funny blogs. I also write Improvising Fatherhood, a parenting blog which is featured on Tumblr’s Spotlight for Parenting blogs.

In 2012 I started Awkward Elevator with my writing partner Sam Holmquist. Together we create new humor posts which have been featured on Tumblr’s LOL Tag page, College Humor, Laughing Squid, Gizmodo, and the front page of Reddit.

I hope that helps give you guys a clearer idea of who I am. I also have a new YouTube channel, so if you want to see/hear me making jokes, please check it out!

Tags: Nate Smith Ask