heliumcomedypdx:

John Mulaney is a terrible driver!

"Watching a Roast on the Food Network is a lot less funny than watching one on Comedy Central."

Jokes: Roasts (via collegehumor)

bestnatesmithever:

the audacity

bestnatesmithever:

the audacity

Tags: BNSEPic jokes

"I like how McDonalds mixes the napkins in the to-go bag with the greasy food, so that even when I’m wiping my mouth I can get fatter."
MIWF

MIWF

shirted

shirted

"Today my son pooped in his shirt. He…shirted."
"I can be a little bit of a downer. My favorite part of Clue is notifying the family."

Sean Clancy Standup on uPick (via collegehumor)

(Source: College Humor, via collegehumor)

noods

noods

But seriously, this makes me sad. I have spent many a car ride rocking out to MCA and the Beastie Boys. 

But seriously, this makes me sad. I have spent many a car ride rocking out to MCA and the Beastie Boys. 

I should write a book.

I should write a book.