azureusblue:

Couldn’t decide on tonights post-its so you get a triple feature tonight.

(via azureusblue-deactivated20130903)

thedaddycomplex:

notthatjesus:

How I’ll raise my future child.

How I’m raising my present children.

How I’m raising my neighbor’s children.

thedaddycomplex:

notthatjesus:

How I’ll raise my future child.

How I’m raising my present children.

How I’m raising my neighbor’s children.

How I Stop Our Boys’ Unnecessary Tears

thedaddycomplex:

That question from earlier made me think of this.

If one of our boys comes to me on the verge of tears and says, “I bonked my elbow!” I check out the injury and say something like, “Well, it seems okay, so… oh, wait a minute. Okay, I see. Yeah, this is going to have to come off.” Then, I pretend to try and pull their arm off.

I put a lot of effort into it, grunting and gritting my teeth, sometimes dangling them upside down. Then, I look for the “release switch,” which invariably resides under the armpit. When they’re squealing with laughter, I stop and say, “Well, I can’t get it to come off. Think you’ll be okay?” They always say yes.

I have yet to try this tactic on a serious injury.

thedaddycomplex:

I’m thinking of jumping on the “Elf on the Shelf” bandwagon, but maybe upping the game a bit. This one should keep the boys in line.
(Source: Susan’s Custom Creepy Dolls)

Oh my God, David.

thedaddycomplex:

I’m thinking of jumping on the “Elf on the Shelf” bandwagon, but maybe upping the game a bit. This one should keep the boys in line.

(Source: Susan’s Custom Creepy Dolls)

Oh my God, David.

thedaddycomplex:

Farting. Baby. Puppet.

The Worst Bad Guys Ever

  • Wyatt: Let's pretend we're bad guys, but we do nice things for people in a nice way.
  • Me: That sounds like we'd be good guys, then.
  • Wyatt: But, we're bad guys.
  • Me: So, we're bad bad guys?
  • Wyatt: Yeah.
thedaddycomplex:

theweekmagazine:

thedailywhat:

Forged Parent Note of the Day: If only it were this easy.

Seems legit. 

thedaddycomplex:

theweekmagazine:

thedailywhat:

Forged Parent Note of the Day: If only it were this easy.

Seems legit. 

laughingsquid:

A Mother Shaves Numbers On Her Identical Quadruplet Boys’ Heads

Tags: China Kids

thedaddycomplex:

mamamusement:

Now *this* I would watch…

Love the tagline.

thedaddycomplex:

mamamusement:

Now *this* I would watch…

Love the tagline.

thedaddycomplex:

The other day, Wyatt and I were playing with toy cars, pretending to race each other. I said, “Uh-oh, I’m going to pass you.”

He said, “Then, I shoot fire at you and you drive off the cliff.”

And I said…

thedaddycomplex:

BOOM! Here’s an all new episode of Fighting with Babies, now in glorious HD.

It clocks in at about 90 seconds, so you have no excuse not to watch it.

Public humiliation done right.

squishyeeyore:

Took my little sister toy shopping today. After much browsing, she chose a pack of Hot Wheels cars. She wanted to pay so I gave her the money. As we were waiting in line, some dude waiting behind us asks:

“Buying those for your brother?”

My sister gives him a weird look, “No. They’re mine.”

“You sure you want those, sweetheart? Those are for boys.” He says.

Before I can say anything, my sister yells, like truly yells at the top of her lungs, “MY MOMMY IS A GIRL AND DRIVES A CAR EVERY DAY! GIRLS CAN HAVE CARS TOO!”

The people in front of us in line turn around. The cashier actually stops what she’s doing. Everyone stares at this guy and he just sort of turns red, grabs his kid, and disappears into the Lego aisle.

Ha.

Awesome kid. I force my son to play with dolls. It makes him cry, but I just really like to watch. 

Okay, that is the creepiest joke I have ever made in my life. I should dele-

(via lgbtlaughs)

iheartchaos:

Cosplay of the day: Loki is defeated

Now jam that shield into his jugular!

iheartchaos:

Cosplay of the day: Loki is defeated

Now jam that shield into his jugular!

(Source: sithcamaro, via cityblue30)

  • Daughter, flipping through dictionary: Oh ho ho! What a funny joke! Mom, you should read this joke!
Disposing of your dead dog is so hard when you’re little.

Disposing of your dead dog is so hard when you’re little.

(via thefrogman)